New to DB and Clearly Oblivious to My "Horrible" M

[NickB]

Sandi2,

Thank you again for your time and guidance. I appreciate all the great feedback and hope there is more in store for me.

Here's a tip....when there has not been significant progress in the MR, and the W initiates a R talk....it usually means a negative message for the H.

I would say this is 100% on target and great advice.

First of all, were the two of you in a mutual agreement that you are (have been the past two weeks) actually "working" on the M? Did either of you tell the MC that you are/would actively work on the R? If yes, what have you seen her do that would be considered working toward a better R?

In our fifth session we did agree that we were going to make time to spend one-on-one at dinner or some outing and have the nanny take care of the kids. The MC specifically asked do you want me or her to take care of the planning. W said she would be more comfortable doing it so there was less chance of me having high hopes or expectations for the dinner.

In the end the dinner was never planned. When the MC asked us in our last session why she did not pursue it, she said it felt like pretend still.