SS, you're definitely not an unreasonable person. The things your H was doing would set most people off. Your feelings are completely justified. I've said before, it doesn't sound like he has been a good H to you for a long time, if ever.
I understand you have some real limitations to GAL at this point. But be careful to not pad the excuses. It's very easy to let your feelings talk you out of doing something, when doing something has a way of helping you out of your feelings. It's best if you can get out of the house, but you can be creative inside, too. Even doing some long-needed chores will help distract you. I don't know what's available there. Do you have a zoo? A museum? What about packing a picnic and setting up the tent in the backyard and going urban camping? If your kids have bikes, could you borrow one? Try to look beyond the excuses and see if there's a way around it. Act as if you really want to do something and have to be creative on how to do it.
And you might find that your friends with kids would love to have a play date, or even moreso, a girls night out without the kids (which could be watching a movie at your place.)
I'm just concerned that you're talking yourself out of things, when it's really one of the best things for you. ((()))
