WAS vs. LBS

[AJM]

But we should have an even MORE intimate R with each other than we have with anyone else.

Yes! Now the trick is, how to have that kind of relationship. What does that take?? Oh wait, at least two people that are trying to have that kind of relationship right? What else does it take (not what it looks like, but what does it take - I'll give you a hint - fear is the anti-relationship)

I can't change him, so any suggestions you have for ME is always appreciated.

I disagree but it's a fine point. You can't change him. He, and he alone can change him. What makes him change? His desire to change. What fuels his desire to change? Fear? Bullying? Berating? Nagging? Affirmation? Giving him what he wants? (none of those if you're still asking).
Your behavior directly influences his. It's part of the dynamic. So I suppose part of the question is what is your part in the dynamic and how does that affect his behavior.

For me, it's just too scripted. Like flowers on Valentine's day. Zero thought, zero meaning, zero investment.

Really? Then why does he do it? I mean, why bother if he doesn't mean it? Does he have some other goal in mind? If so, what would that be? Could it be his way of trying to connect with you? Could it be he doesn't know any other way to REACT to you? What is it you really want then? What do you want him to do? What do you think he should be doing besides these actions? What actions should he be doing, in the absence of figuring out what you want (you may have told him in your words, but that's the not same as him figuring it out, right?)

What does an imperfect man have to do to let you know he is trying to have an intimate relationship with you?

Your emotions seem heightened again. Am I misreading that?

Peace,
AJ