He's Just Not That Into You

[mamabird]

Thanks Breakdown. That is good advice. I do want to go, so I think I will try to "man up" and just go and have a good time.

I have the feeling this holiday is going to be a nightmare.

I finally asked H if he wanted me to call his mother, and he said, "If you want to." So, I did, and had a nice conversation with her. For all her issues and problems, she is not judgmental and has always treated me very nicely, nicer than his dad and his side of the family.

MIL said she had been trying to get in touch with H and he hadn't been returning her calls. So when I invited her, of course she was hesitant, saying to me, "Well, if H can't call me himself, then there must be some sort of problem and it doesn't sound like I'm really welcome." Of course I tried to tell her that she's welcome but in the end she declined the invitation.

I know this is really not about me, and that I didn't cause this rift with my H and MIL, but I feel terrible that she's not coming. I told H that she wasn't and he said, "Ok" without asking why. I told him that she didn't feel comfortable because HE hadn't called her. I suggested that he call her but I know he won't. He said he wasn't angry with her, he "just didn't feel like talking to her." Uh... I'm not even sure what to make of that. What kind of grown up person says that?

Had an appt with my IC today and we agreed that until H resolves the mother issue, none of our issues will really get resolved. IC also said that if H doesn't start moving forward in some way that I would probably want to get on with it and D him. He said that while all those meds can be good, they can dull a person just enough to keep them stuck.

I told my IC that I feel really sorry for my H, which I do. I feel sorry that he's so lost and feels like he can't deal with any of it. I also feel sorry that he's apparently flushing $150 down the toilet each week since I can't see that IC is working very well for him.