I believe the WAW really needs a preview shot of how life would be without the H and all the family activities together. (To continue to share holidays isn't showing that reality to her.) IMHO, that does as much (if not more) than the H trying to show her all his wonderful changes. She isn't interested in him changing. She use to want him to change, but now it's too little - too late. Remember how MWD describes the WAW in her article?
Also remember that the WAW is in a fantasy that she created. Know what shatters a fantasy? Reality!
Don't sweat what you told her this time, but I would be careful not to do this on a regular basis. If you get another chance to be her H....then by all means, use it.
Hope I didn't confuse you more.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
