Thank you for stopping by. Yes, in the trenches with a few body parts to spare!
Originally Posted By: mrsrjd
I have similar questions regarding cake-eating. I am trying to separate cake-eating from "living as is". The two seem to contradict each other and I have yet to wrap my head around the concepts.
Me too, obviously. I just cannot seem to find that balance (even when following the Rules) between the "light the path home" and cake-eating, especially when I was the distancer and that played a big part in our R's demise.
Originally Posted By: mrsrjd
Excuse my inexperience if the following suggestion goes against the db grain (but your sitch seems so unique due to your role in the R and your geographical distance too) but if you are being a "friend" to him only make limited contact as a "friend".
Thank you, I am trying this. Truth is my friends and I are a pretty no holds barred kinda bunch, so no topic is taboo. I guess my confusion comes in when he contacts me. So many are trying to get their SO's to contact them and talk about the past - mine loves the past and I am his best-est buddy.
The main question is supposed to be (according to the DR book): is what I am about to do going to push him further away? But in using that as my barometer sometimes, it seems like cake-eating is not only allowed, it is the thing to do.
Spit. So, I will take Snodderly's advice and "do nothing". Well, until I have to do something when he asks for his B-Day song.
