Spartan, I'm sorry things took a turn for the worse, but I actually think you handled things fairly well considering. None of us are perfect, so we're not going to do it perfect every time.
I think the fact that your W is working thru her own baggage is a huge positive. There may be things you aren't aware of, things you aren't happy about, and things that hurt in all of that, but the fact that she is facing them and trying to change really puts you in a far better place than most of the folks here. I would expect it to be a difficult time for her as she faces her own demons and that means, difficult for you as well.
I think it's important to realize that love and trust are choices. You certainly can do these things if you choose to. They may not be easy, but they are do-able.
Hang in there...continue to work on you and be strong for your family.
