He left a letter w/the D papers saying that it was the hardest thing he had to do in life and that he hoped that I find happiness even if it's with someone else.
Originally Posted By: heartbroken5
We were supposed to set up times to talk about the division of property and what would be submitted to the court but he has cancelled all of the "meetings" and I didn't follow up after the last cancel.
The above two comments make it sound like he does not want to proceed with the D. If I were you I would just keep doing what you're doing- remain "dark" (do not contact him) and do nothing to further along the D. Leave it in his court. He may very well not pursue it.
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I don't know what to do. Everyday that goes by hurts because of not knowing.
But staying dark is the best thing you can do right now. You need to give H time and space to think. He is going through a lot of turmoil, the last thing you want to do is anything that might drive him away or convince him D is the right thing. And if you do talk to him or see him, try very hard to show him nothing but a positive, happy, content you. Be attractive, not needy. Remember what you were like when he fell for you and try to be THAT person.
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I want to have hope, but I don't want to be a fool either.
Having hope is not foolish. Standing for your marriage is not foolish. Read the threads here, there many amazing, intelligent people here who have been standing for months and even years. Why do they do it? Hope. And to make themselves better people whether they reconcile or not.
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I'm like a zombie most of the time, just going through the motions of the day to day. Eating, sleeping, working, an occasional forced smile so that my coworkers feel comfortable.
How long has this been going on? If months, then talk to your PCP and consider A/D's. Sometimes they're needed to get us out of the slump and back to a PMA. It is critical to have a PMA, your H will not be attracted back to a depressed, needy you.
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But there's a void, an emptiness, I don't feel life... kind of pathetic when i type it out....it's the truth though.
That's nearly a textbook description of depression.
