Falling spectacularly apart today and am so far off the DB'ing it's crazy. I can't stop texting my H, telling him I miss him etc etc. I know it's the wrong thing to do, the worst thing to do. I can't stop crying, crying in the supermarket, crying in the car, crying when I wake up, it doesn't stop this week.
I have put in an application to rent an apartment as my H is also renting a place at the minute but wants to keep the house. I am finding it so hard being in the house without him. I think this has made everything so much more real. I feel like if I move out then that is it, there will be no hope for us. There has to be hope for us.
I am so tired and sick aswell as the moment which is not helping, I am finding it hard to deal with my overwhelming emotions. I know it's time to do a 180, to GAL, to let him think I am doing fine and moving on, but my god that is so hard as it feels like I am really moving n and away from him and that is the very last thing I want.
I have not signed the legal separation/financial separation papers yet. I can't. I know that is silly really I guess as even if I do sign them it doesn't mean there is no hope does it? It just sends out the message I am holding on to him, which goes against the DB I think?!
Any advice welcome. I hope you are all having a better day than me.
