but in 5/12 he moved out to live with his parents where he still lives.
So he doesn't live there. What level of contact do the two of you have? Do you see each other frequently? He needs space to sort things out. He's been away for 6 months, in that length of time you should have seen some kind of progress unless you haven't been giving him enough space.
Quote:
We have been seeing counseling for a couple of years and we don't seem to be getting anywhere.
Did you read about cheeseless tunnels in DR? You're going down one. Seek a new counselor. Better yet, ditch the counseling and get a DB coach.
Quote:
Begging and telling him I'm sorry and I'll change which I am all of those but I don't need to tell him daily.
You don't need to tell him at all. He knows. Every time you say it you're just applying pressure, because that is NOT what he wants now.
Quote:
So right now I am trying to get a life and only contact him when needed.
Good. How long have you been doing this? It's going to take months of DB'ing before you start seeing results.
Quote:
My problem is he continues to attack me and tell me everything I have done wrong throughout our marriage.
Take stock of everything he's told you and do 180's on those things.
Quote:
I really want to put our marriage back togehter for our sake and the sake of our kids.
Understand that you cannot do that directly, only indirectly. You've got to do 180's on all the things you contributed to the marriage problems. You've got to give him time and space to appreciate your 180's. And you've got to make yourself more appealing by becoming more attractive, happy and independent. If you come off as needy you're going to push him away further. No crying/ begging/ pleading/ reasoning. detach and GAL. Make yourself into a spouse that only a fool would leave, that's the goal.
Quote:
I know I slip up and send him emails trying to explain myself but at least that is getting less frequent.
That needs to go from "less frequent" to "never". It is hurting you, not helping. It comes off as needy and that is not at all attractive.
