The green green grass of home

[Soul.Searching]

Thank you CV and AS
CV, I am trying I do go out but usually just to family members and such. Not having any money makes things a lot harder, I think.
I haven't had my hair done in sooo long because I just can not afford it. I'd like to go and get a message, again I can not afford it. I wanted to take the children to the beach last weekend but once again I couldn't afford it.
I'm looking in to courses and hoping I can get government help to pay for one. I just have no idea what I want to do right now but the only way I can get a job that pays enough is to get some qualifications. I love IT but have no idea what I could do in IT.

Thanks, AS, I know it will get better but I look at some people here, still in a similar place as I am and they have been here for years. That just scares me.

No I haven't talked to a L, Things are different here. Child support is something you have to fill in a form and the government decided what the S has to pay, depending on both wages and the care agreement on the children. They also take out a living amount first. Because H doesn't earn that much, He won't have to pay me much at all. I have sent in the forms but have not started receiving anything yet.
It won't make much of a difference anyway because I will probably loose some of my government payment. I have only been getting between 9 to 12 hours a week at work because "I'm not the right personality" any more.
We don't own a house and have agreed on who will take what, So there will probably not even be a L involved at all.
We just have to wait a year, Once the year is up he can file and then they make a date in court and finalise it, Even if one S does not agree or turn up.

Oh and CV, I'm not a cushion. H has gone dark on me, dark kinda cold and very business like. I just feel so helpless.