seeking, She left the board and because of the ban on posting email addresses her, we were never in contact off the board. The last time she posted, she was still on the sidelines like the rest of us and that was a few years ago.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
seeking, I went back to 2006 and found a posting from TMAK and it does appear that her h returned home. I'll keep digging to see what else I find, but in the meantine here is what she posted:
"YR and AID: to your question if my husband said I Love you when he came home....He did the night he asked me if he could come home. He never had a problem saying it to me...the only thing that he did not want to do at first was to make love. He had such guilt feelings about it, he wasn't sure how I was going to react....but that lasted for only about a week when I let him know that I was fine with it. He let me tell him exactly how I felt about the whole thing and I did tell him but not angrily. He was totally good about it.
But I would not be too worried about it right now as I have heard others say the say thing that it was hard for their husband's to say I love you at first. Please remember, when they first come home they are still trying to get it all together, they are also so filled with guilt and are still feeling you out for your reactions to things. Take it slow, YR, it will all come together....the more he feels comfortable with you, the more he will relax, and you relax as much as you can as well...sometimes it did feel like I was walking on eggshells, but time lessened that. You are getting to know each other again, there are hurts to get over, you both have gone thru big changes and even though you belong together, it is a learning lesson.
Best advice...be patient(again)...don't be too hard on yourself if you still have feelings of "untrust"....he has a lot to earn back, and he will......be friends, the husband and wife team will be renewed in time.
God Bless You!!!!
TMAK2"
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly, that was so kind of you to look that up. I didn't mean to bother you with it. I should have gone looking myself. I just thought maybe you knew off hand how it turned out for her.
I truly hope they stayed together and went on to have an even better marriage.
I think knowing that sometimes marriages do get restored is positive for those on these boards hoping to save their M's.
Yes, it is a positive for the newbies to know that there are some marriages that get restored, but they also need to understand it takes years of hard work, time, space, patience, compassion, more patience and working on themselves to hopefully reconcile.
This journey is not an easy walk in the park, but a very dark, twisted, bumpy journey w/a lot of self discovery along the way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H came and got the 2 youngest last night, took them to dinner and S13 said he wasn't hungry at that point and hewould eat when he came home, H said "oh you'll eat for mom but not for me?" he know when S13 is on ADD meds its an appetite suppressant.
Then he took them to a shoe store because D9 will be 10 this month so she saw a pair of boots she liked so he took a picture of them and text it to me and said I wanna get these for D9 for her birthday, I text back and said "Those are perfect for her" which is a 180 for me as I've always been adament that I buy her clothing cause he simply [censored] at it LOL
I was very shocked that he even showed them to me as he now doesn't care about my opinion about ANYTHING!!! Maybe it was a test? Thinking I would say they're ugly...which I probably would have.
M 41 H 43 M 22 S 18 S 14 D 11 Affair discovered 1/12 He filed 2/12 OW#2 7/12 she lives next door. D pending
My 2 youngest spent the night with H last night (3rd time in 3 months) Its so hard I HATE IT! When I spoke to S13 last night I said to him "call or text me anytime if you need me" apparently H heard me say that and got mad at S13?
For Thanksgiving me and the kids were invited to H cousins for dinner as they know that we have noone else around, they are good people especially since H is their family not me, but they said he stopped being their family when he did thos to his family.
S17 said to me the other day "I hope what he thinks he's gaining is worth all he's losing" Dunno why I said that it just into my head.
Thanks for listening/reading.
M 41 H 43 M 22 S 18 S 14 D 11 Affair discovered 1/12 He filed 2/12 OW#2 7/12 she lives next door. D pending
Your h was mad because he thought his S13 had been whining about staying w/him. He didn't like it that you are so readily available to your child and he wants his son to feel he can count on hm for anything when he's w/him. I'm sorry he took it out on your son.
I'm glad yo have plans for Thanksgiving. Go, have fun, and enjoy the company.
S17 is one smart young man. He sees what his father is losing and can't understand why he would walk away from all that he had. It's unfortuante that they do this and some live to regret it later when it's too late to get back what they lost.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H is picking up s13 D9 on thanksgiving after we have dinner at his cousins. S13 was asked by a neighbor to help him friday to put up christmas lights for $50 ( he's saving up for stuff for his 4 wheeler)he asked him last month to do this, S13 said yes...anyway he told H on the phone last night that he had this to do and H gave him a guilt trip of "so you don't want to have thanksgiving with me?"
My question is what do I do about this? H WILL make it out to be my fault like I set this up to ruin his plans when I had nothing to do with it. Do I let S13 work something out with H or do I discuss it with him? I need help
M 41 H 43 M 22 S 18 S 14 D 11 Affair discovered 1/12 He filed 2/12 OW#2 7/12 she lives next door. D pending
