Bug- I can control me and that's it. I can't even control my children and their feelings. I will do what I can to make their lives easier if that has a positive effect for H then so be it. If not, then so be it. I can't control that.
I can control how much I contact him and what I say. I can control how I act. Otherwise, it's all on him. Likely they would have more positive feelings in general if he made more effort. Again, I cannot control that. I have still tried to ask him when he would like to visit and that sort of thing. I'm simply not going to anymore.
If he wants to do that and he wants control then the ball is in his court.
I am not going to just poof and give him a quickie divorce because it makes their life easier. I also wonder how much of that he wants because of pressure from her but again- not my issue.
I am in a much better frame of mind than I was. I also control how I will react to the world and those around me. I can choose positively or negatively and it is up to me every single day! I also control what I put in my body (I *might* have eaten a whole box of Chocolate Chip cookies Monday trying to deal with my feelings)
So here I go. Willpower is key. Why is it soooo hard to really and truly detach? I think for myself for some reason I equate it with not caring. Which really isn't what it is. It's more like choosing me over H. Frankly, since our R has always been lopsided and unbalanced I think that is why I have such difficulty with this. It is hard to convince myself that I MATTER.
I am right there with you. We can only control ourselves will be our mantra until we believe and we practice what we preach.... Don't feel too bad. Might have been girl guide cookies for me
