Next Step, Moving On

[dorightman]

I really need some help here.
For the past two months, going on three, I have not been able to control my actions as far as DB techniques. I'm good for a day or two, and then something usually happens and I derail. My emotions get the best of me and I end up either crying in desperation to my w, or unwittingly punishing her or getting into the same old argument with her.
At this point, I feel I have driven her to the very edge and I don't know what to do other then get out of the house to give her space. I seem to be unable to give her space while living together.
I need a solution FAST. I need to turn this around to get the focus off of me so she can go through her emotions to heal the past.
Maybe I could try to not be home when she gets home from work? Get out of the house on her days off, GAL.
It just seems like everytime I try again, I fail for some reason. I think because when I see w and interact with her and kids, everything seems ok because we're acting that way to protect kids. But after they go to bed, I always breakdown, cry, feel like I need w to talk to, and have nowhere to go. And she's got her wall up, is defensive, and cold. She may show sympathy for a few minutes to try to calm me down, but after she resents me for again not giving her space.
Anyone have any suggestions? I'm desperate at this point.