Stand up, poor and tired, but STILL more than this

[LIO]

My first thread: What's going on here.... and what do I do? What is going on here.... and what do I do?
My second thread: Stand up, poor and tired, but more than this

I guess I like to type a lot. Locked up the previous thread.

H and I went to a counseling appointment this morning. The counselor's (C) mission is to save marriages. To work through the issues, even when it seems hopeless.

I stayed quiet mostly... It was the first time I'd get to hear what the issues were. Why we were where we are.
H lied in the counseling stating his affair was 2 years. It wasn't. He said that he felt this way before our 5 year old was born. He's always felt like he wanted a D, but just never could go through with it because of my reaction.
C: "it sounds like LIO is willing to work on whatever it is that you need, have you communicated your needs to her? "
H replied: "She's not the issue. She would do anything that would help me. except when she doesn't get her way..." C looking at me: "how so?" in relationships like right now."
C looking at me.
Me to C: "I can only think of right now, where I do not want cheating or lying." H: "and murder"... (haha trying to be funny).

Reading these forums, I could see where the C was going with his questioning after getting stonewalled. He was asking midlife crisis questions. C brought up our son, and asked about his reaction... H was silent. I told the C, and H chimes in that I was feeding into S's reaction. I report what he does/says. Not my feelings.

H said he wouldn't come back, it was pointless. The C encouraged us to come back because it wasn't hopeless, but if we wanted to see him individually, that that was an option.
C suggested that we work on a parenting plan. H was uninterested, and took off quickly at the end.

H then called while I was crying/upset left in the office and his voicemail said: "I'm sorry you are upset, but I knew it would go that way. Have a good day."

I have another appointment with the C next week. For myself.
The C had me stay past the session and said that my husband is unwilling to accept any responsibility, and that I need to get out of the limbo and I've been left with a lot of responsibility with the kid, the house, the bills...


I had a great workout tonight. Signed up for more training sessions. I'm feeling stronger physically and mentally.

I was trying to keep the road smooth. I think I was a fool for being too accommodating. Maybe it's time to go NC again?
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