Am I kidding myself.

[MrBond]

The problem is that you don't want to be her "best friend". You want to be her H.

"MrBond, I can't answer why i did."

Yes you do. "couldn't get it out of my mind that i needed to say something"

That's why.

You're always going to feel like "if I just send this LAST message, or if only I could send this LAST card, etc."

All it does is cushion her fall when you need her to fall.

Start taking yourself outside of her life and build yourself back up.