I spent the first year of this debacle hoping my X would want to work on our M. I was ready to listen, he never talked. And I believe General P will probably work it out with his wife. I am completely past hope for myself. My X is completely addicted to the OW drug.
My oldest son posted something on FB, and asked me to Share it. I did. Then he expressed that he hoped OW would see it and say something to X, thus proving she is still stalking me. I told him, rather sadly, that I really didn't care what his dad thinks anymore. Because OW is like a drug, and he is so deeply enthralled there is nothing to do but say "Oh Well!"
My X has made fun of people we know who are drug-addicts. I have always felt sorry for them. I saw an aunt die young (58) when I was in the 8th grade. She smoked and drank herself to death. It made a big impression on me. I never took up smoking. I went through a drinking too much phase in my mid to late 20's. The military seems to encourage drinking.
I don't drink very often, or very much now days. And I try to give up Diet Coke, and the hold it has me is so strong that just writing it made me get up and go get one....... So I will not make fun of folks who can't get past their addictions. I just know I will never try drugs, because they sure do seem to get ahold of people.
And reading about affairs and drugs, they both send an avalanche of Dopamine into our brains. So, yep, the man I married is no better than a drug addict. Maybe even worse, because at least some of my drug addict friends and family have admitted they had a problem and went to rehab. (I know I said I wouldn't make fun of them, I just couldn't resist.) I must be addicted to sarcasm.
I need to send in my resume, I was offered another different OJT through the VA. The job I was promised decided I was too old and probably don't know how to use a computer. They never even met with me or even spoke to me on the phone. It makes me sad. I build my first web site in 1995. I took computer classes in 1992 because I didn't want to be left behind, I saw the internet and knew it was going to be life changing.
I keep thinking the right thing will work out for me. Sure wish it would happen sooner than later!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Hey Wendy! The right job will come along, but I didn't like the fact that someone thought you were too old and didn't know how to operate a computer...that's age discrimination!
I don't know if you've seen the news today, but apparently there is another woman in the General P situation. It's getting more complicated as the hours pass.
You have definitely hit the nail on the head...the ow is like a drug and the mlcing spouses are tripping out on the Dopamine. Your xh isn't ready to admit he's got a problem. Right now, he's still at home and hasn't lost enough respect or worldly goods to hit bottom.
Sending positive thoughts your way!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
we are fellow diet coke addicts lol. Tho its not funny - I think its really addicting. I had proudly weaned myself off just days before the bomb drop... and now... I'm in its grips again. Sigh. We all have some sort of "crutch" I suppose.
Good luck to you in the job department. I'm still searching as well.
Have a good night!
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Today my oldest son came to with a plan to help me move on. Funny, because I have prayed for some resolution and clarity. They held a couple of classes about prayer at the yoga/spiritual retreat. On little flyer someone haned out said that if you prayed this certain prayer over what was bothering you 5 times a day, you would amost certainly get results. (I chuckled over that part....)
But I have continued to pray/meditate. Anyway, S27 wants to move back in here with his wife and kids. Pay some rent. They want to save up money to move. They plan to go to Texas for a few years. They want to give me some space so I can make my own decisions without worrying about them.
Now if they would just take S22 with them.
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
I'm a little confused. They would live there with you AND exH? WHILE you're trying to sell the house? Or they would move in there with ExH and cover your portion of the mortgage while you move to California? Or they would move in with you and help you pay the mortgage while exH moves out???
Ellie, I'm sitting down thinking about all of the things you brought up. I'm not sure any of those ideas work. I have another plan I'm working on. Don't want to write much on here.
If you ever want to find me on the Alt I feel that is more secure for private messaging.
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
I've seen much about the alt,.. How would someone find it?
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
I hope you are able to come up with a suitable plan.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
In caser I forgot to do this: Thank you to everyone who ever gave me a word of encourgament, advise or who was reading along to try to understand their own situation. Sandi2, Beatrice, Snodderly, T^2, Kimmerz, 25yearsmlc, Gunny, Autumn, Jack, Perseverance, Purgatory, Labug, BklnMom, Crimsom, CO1978, Cadet,2thepoint, antlers,cat04 Sunshine76, Kaffe Diem, seeking answers, NLW, barely floating,trusting, kml,irishblessings, AntoniaB, forward, angel61, 4myfamily, sleeper, goodattitudegirl, tested metal, BeingMe, Rick1963,sunshinelewis, Seminolewind, RoRoinMD, Ilikemenow, ptcr, and anyone else I might have missed. You have all been great, I love each and everyone of you,
I spent the morning re-reading my old threads. Boy, the more things change the more they stay the same! So I am going away from the boards for awhile. I need my own life. I will report back in when I find it.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
