You need to get back in touch with the you that she was attracted to initially
25 asked a ? several days ago about nearly the same thing...what did I do way back when to attract her...I said all those things now would push her away according to DR/DB...I ROMANCED her...which now would be pursuing, and was extremely frustrated about this.
But a thought came to me at work today: I didn't go back in time far enough. I did, in fact romance the heck out of her after a short cautious period...6 weeks most... but who was I before that?
Weeell, for most of my teen/college age years I acted desperate, needy around women, worried that I'd never find a wife, no girl ever went out with me more than a few times.
THEN, I told God I was putting that in His hands, I was going to do my best to be the man He wanted me to be, and had faith that He would provide a wife in His time.
I just quit trying and let go of that whole part of my life. Didn't get depressed, got in great shape, got very serious about a hobby which later became my career, and reconnected with an old friend who I had wronged in the past and made ammends.
Within six months, the girl my old friend was dating insisted they introduce me to her classmate in college. The girl they introduced me to is now my W. The young man she fell for was a guy trying to be the best man he could.
Just what everyone here's been telling me to do all along...I have told this story dozens of times in the past to encourage people to give God control over an area of their life and He won't let you down...I don't know why I forgot it when I needed it most, but now it's back.
I realized today that I DO have faith that God is working in her heart and he will heal her in His time, and I have to be ready when my chance comes.
Yesterday was a terrible day emotionally, and I know most likely I'll have more of those before we're out of the woods, because as you said this will take time to get back to. But today my tears are from joy knowing that I think I'm finally waking up to what this is all about.
My attitude is slowly changing I think, helped by all the words here, and by baby steps I'm seeing. My mom's best friend, who stepped in and "mothered" us for a while when Mom passed away, called me today and said W had contacted her and said she was healing her self so H and W could heal. Knowing that is a huge boost. One day soon well be working on this together.
My faith is not blind, I know God COULD say I don't get another chance.
But I believe I will, and that means I need to live "AS IF"
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
