We had the same issue, we started having sex less. I wanted more, but she didn't seem to care. In retrospect, thinking about our conversations and situation I think the problem was :
-I was left with the feeling : She doesn't want to have sex. Ergo, she doesn't find me attractive anymore OR she doesn't love me anymore OR she can't stand me anymore. That hurt and made me more distant, except for when reaching out(in form of seeing if she wanted to have sex). For me sex meant she loved me, cared for me etc.
-She was left with the feeling : We are having problems, and only thing he is thinking about is sex. He is distant, but then suddenly he wants sex. He only cares about getting laid. This made her more distant and unwilling.
Bad circle.
Oh and you say your physical together now. In the early beginning of our R she was unsure about her feelings toward a X. We were also physical, but she just couldn't make up her mind. Until I stopped getting physical with her and started distancing myself. Being there for her all the time kept us in limbo. Not saying this is the case in your sitch, or that the same thing will happen. But consider the possibility of cake-eating. Even though not-being physical in your R made things worse, it doesn't mean getting physical now will make things better.
The previous replies gives really good advice. Learning from your mistakes is a great step, but you also need to realize not everything falls on you. Focus on you, learn from your mistakes, but keep your self-respect.
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
