Im 43 and my wife is 48. We have been married for 13 years and have an 11 year old daughter together. Both of us have been married before and have children with our ex's.
Things have been good for the most part for the last 13 years, I did put on a lot of weight and the sex soon came to a once a week thing, but the relationship was good. She was laid off from her job in 2010 and couldn't find work, so after almost two years she started playing an MMO. I didn't think anything of this until she was staying up till 1 or 2 am every night. I started snooping and found e-mails of a sexual nature to several guys. Turned out she was going to leave me and our daughter for a soon to be 18 year old. She was sex-ting and having voice chat sex with him and another guy in the UK.
We went to counseling and things seemed to get better, at least I thought things were better. She found a job and the girls there told my wife about 50 shades of grey. My wife purchased the books and they got her into BSDM. She then got on a few websites and started communicating with guys. This turned into phone sex with a couple. She had planed to move back east to be with one of them. They had even planned for him to visit so they could have sex, and she had also planned on leaving without telling anyone. She was going to leave me and our daughter a note.
I was able to stop this from happening, but she feels trapped in the marriage. The sex has been frequent and very good this year, so it took me a while to figure out something was going on. One guy she met on this site was just a friend until last week when he started flirting with her in texts. She flirted back and she told him she wanted to meet him for a hookup. I banned his number from her phone, e-mailed and texted him, and he told her not to contact him anymore. This led to a miserable few days. Things seem ok at times but she gets these urges to leave.
I don't want to lose her and have the family split up but this is exhausting. I started going to the gym a month and a half ago, and I've lost 35 pounds, thinned out, and started dressing nicer. She said she was more attracted to me and loves me more than she did. At least until the last two weeks.
After the flirting to the guy in Vegas, and the plan to hook up I did everything wrong. Now she is done and says there is no desire or hope that we will stay together.
I just bought two of Mrs. Weiner-Davis book, and i'm waiting to get them from Amazon. I would love any advise I can get. Thanks
