Do I Have a Chance?

[complicated]

Here's my story and I hope I can be concise. My husband and I have been married for 25 years and together for 27. We have 3 daughters 20, 18 and 15. We have had some issues with our kids like anyone else so I figured we would work through our problems. We had been seeing couseling with our daughter and it is through that I found out we had issues. It was basically both of us blaming each other when we didn't agree with each other.

Husband is a pleaser and basically does what everyone wants. Occasionally he would disagree. Finally right before our oldest went off to college he told me he was depressed and didn't love me anymore. He said he has not been happy for a long time and blamed me for his depression and our marital problems. I do take responsibility for my part. I can see how he did things for everyone and eventhough I always appreciate what he does maybe I didn't show it like I should and I have been working on that. He also said that he was always the one who had to initiate sex and that is true too. I always felt like the only times he wanted to be close was when he wanted sex. I have since read that men and women feel love differently and am trying to see things from his point of view.

Anyway, in June 2011 he filed for divorce but we stayed living together. It was almost final when he stopped it in 3/12 but in 5/12 he moved out to live with his parents where he still lives. We have been seeing counseling for a couple of years and we don't seem to be getting anywhere. I picked up Michelle's books Divorcebusting and Divorce Remedy trying to put our marriage back together because obviously I am doing this on my own. Of course I was doing everything wrong. Begging and telling him I'm sorry and I'll change which I am all of those but I don't need to tell him daily.

So right now I am trying to get a life and only contact him when needed. Two of our daughters are away at school with one still at home and we still have our house that I live in. My problem is he continues to attack me and tell me everything I have done wrong throughout our marriage. He fails to see what he has done to me because I don't keep a record for him.

I really want to put our marriage back togehter for our sake and the sake of our kids. I do still love him. We have been intimate throughout this process which I don't know if that is right or wrong. He says he doesn't want me to get the wrong idea that he doesn't love me but he's a guy. At this point I really don't think there is an OW and I don't have an OM. I am not a very patient person and I don't feel like we are getting anywhere with counseling. I know I slip up and send him emails trying to explain myself but at least that is getting less frequent. I'm trying really hard to adhere to Michelle's advice. It does seem like any decision I make he seems to disagree with. I'm not sure why he feels the need to worry about it.

One of my questions is how to handle this because he is depressed and his complaint was that I didn't show him enough love or appreciation and I always want my way. Do I do that now or still stay totally away? I want to show him I love him but I know that is not necessarily the right way to go about it.

Do we still have a chance? Help!!