Sounds like some standard mlc modus operandi...

-blame spouse
-see self as victim
-forget ANYthing done or said by spouse
-see self as victim
-be passive aggressive
-see self as victim

...ad nauseum...

The wondering if you are going to serve him is maybe a bunch of projecting onto you so HE is not the bad person.

Stay strong!

smile

T^2

In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm