Well, we did have the talk last night. I wanted to get my coaching in first, but I was impatient....bad choice.
Ultimately, W did agree that it was disrespectful for her to continue her R with OM and said something to the effect that it was difficult to just let him go completely. She also said she didn't really care about my feelings and reiterated that when she said she wanted D, she was and still is mentally done with our M.
There was some productive topics in there, but she she reiterated she wanted D multiple times and in all honestly, I pushed her a few times when I shouldn't have. We've all read that you don't give ultimatums unless you are willing to live with the consequences.
At the end, I asked if we could agree to be honest and respectful of each other until we were indeed divorced, and she agreed. As part of that, I asked that she not talk about OM at our home, nor continue to socially communicate with him at home. She agreed.
To get agreement that talking to OM is disrespectful and won't occur in our house sounds like movement in the right direction....but then she went and got D papers this morning and brought them home for signature, so my impatience has appeared to implode all the progress made to date. She hasn't actually given them to me yet, but I'm sure she will this afternoon when she gets home.
My DB coaching is tomorrow morning, so hopefully some good advice will come out of that. As much progress as I've made on myself, I still seem to be falling short when it counts. I'm really sad right now....it is tough to not feel like a failure. I know the war's not over, but I definitely lost this battle.
And with that, I think I'm moving to a new chapter so I'm going to close out this thread and start a new one in the newcomers section.
Big thanks to Mach1 for all the help he provided during this, the beginning of my self discovery journey, as well as everyone else who has commented on my thread and given advice. I feel like a much better person now than when I started, but I realize there's still a long road to travel.