When was the last time my H said I was a pretty, a great wife, great mother, the best person he's ever had in his life, and it wasn't followed by I know I'd be crazy to leave all this, but I'm considering my options?

Longer than any spouse would like to admite to them selves or the world!

Everyone has junk in there lives, is a realistic understanding of what life's about. My H's friends all in the same business have and still do endure life's challenges, He's jealous of these men, (some of them he used to be chief over) because they didn't loose there grip on life, they persevered where he flipped.

I am going through the why me phase. My H was the top, Emmy award given , man in his field. Still considered the "one" to count on, but also the one who spiraled down, looks like crap, and is very erratic on the job.

My S21 is going to excel in his fathers footsteps that he paved out for him while he looses everything we worked for the last 21yrs in this business.

That's what I get to look forward to, and the lack of a marriage, my H as a person as well?

So yea, it's hard to see couples and come back home to this. I don't want to come home some days, I need a new agenda for myself, it's such a slow process I may wither away before anything becomes clear to me confused

I'm going to GAL today, leave him here, and maybe even go get that pie I've been eyeballing at the bakery!

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!