New to the site...

[heartbroken5]

The days have been really hard. I have not reached out, it's been at least two weeks since we spoke after I submitted my waiver to the court. I don't know what's going on, there has been no communication. We were supposed to set up times to talk about the division of property and what would be submitted to the court but he has cancelled all of the "meetings" and I didn't follow up after the last cancel. As a matter of fact I didn't respond at all. I don't know what to do. Everyday that goes by hurts because of not knowing. I want to have hope, but I don't want to be a fool either. I have counceling every week, when I feel strong the next day I'm knocked down. I can't explain the pain that I feel. I feel hopeless almost. I'm like a zombie most of the time, just going through the motions of the day to day. Eating, sleeping, working, an occasional forced smile so that my coworkers feel comfortable. I dress myself up,I don't think that anyone would know what's really going on with me at first glance. But there's a void, an emptiness, I don't feel life... kind of pathetic when i type it out....it's the truth though.