Ed you may be talking to your S about your W entirely too much. If I were you I would ease up on telling him how his mother loves him. Its her job to show him her love and her actions must be telling to him. Your S is smarter than you think he is. He knows she is not around for him because she chooses not to be around. I would suggest that you read up on setting boundaries for yourself and for your S. I think there needs to be some consequences for her actions. Right now she has no accountability for the things that she does.
You seem to be on a much better path but I still think you are not fully detached from your W. Keep working on you.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out