I still believe it is highly unlikely she will find long term happiness leaving you and her family for this new guy. Don't be surprised when it doesn't last and she wants back in. Especially when she sees the new you. Then it's all up to you how you want to handle things.
Are you guys going through with D, or holding off on that?
Nobody thinks she will find happiness with the new guy, but I understand her need to do this. With my changes, I am sure its making it harder for her (hence why she is still going on dates with me). The changes, I am making for myself is making me complete. I always been a soft and caring guy, just failed in communication in our marriage. Showing the wrong type of love too. I guess thats why i feel so confident about myself on rebounding. There will be someone else who is going to be happy with me and I won't make the same mistakes.
As for her wanting her back, I already told myself, it will only happen if these 2 things happen.
1. She open communicates that she wants to make this work. She doesn't need to even aplogoize for her actions.
2. She has to make changes for herself to match my changes. I can't accept the old her.
IF she can't meet those 2 things, then I can't accept her back. She should know the amount of pain she has caused and now i am expecting her to give back.
As for D, it was my idea to file (I threatened) and well like people said follow through it. She originally wanted a legal seperation. So she filed the papers, but she asked me to not sign it (the last time we talked about D). We did talk about money, custody of the kids, everything, so if this happens, we will do this without lawyers.
So i figure, we got at least 2 years if I don't sign it. Who knows, maybe i might sign it earlier. Like i said 6 months is my timeline. I won't allow myself to be held hostage in this.
Either I am the right guy, right family or I am not. None of this long term limbo crap. Plus just because we D, doesn't mean we can't always re-marry if we feel the connection is still there. So having a D isn't scaring me, its just a piece of paper. As for as I am concerned, our relationship is over when she said she wanted to be with OM. Paper or not, that was the day it ended for me.
