Put your hands up; it's a wild ride

[someguy1233]

Maybe you could bend over a bit and she could see the new undies peeking out of the top of jeans...lmao

This made me laugh out loud. The image of me bending over: Oops I dropped my phone. Let me bend over and pick it up. "heeeeeeey, baby. You like what you see??" Hahaha! No thanks.

Yeah, you better buckle in...did she say do you want to invite, or let's invite...how about asking her what she would prefer or saying either way is fine, I will leave it up to you...depends on how you have previously handled this type of slightly ambiguous statement? Could be taken either way...

Honestly, I'm not going to look into her phrasing that closely. If she didn't want to be with my family she wouldn't have brought it up. It turns out my immediate family is going to another relative's house and we're invited. W is thinking about going and doing Thanksgiving dinner with just the immediate family on another day.

[someguy1233]

Today is going to be a difficult day. I had to work late last night. I missed out on a lot of sleep. I'm the type of person that gets depressed easily if I don't get at least 7 hours. I just need to remind myself this is ONE day and tomorrow will be better.

It was hard leaving the house this morning. S and I were headed out the door and like always, W leans in and gives S a kiss as I'm holding him. For some stupid reason, every day I think maybe she'll give me a kiss. It never happens and my heart always drops. I wish I knew how to get rid of that thought. Rationally, I know she's not going to kiss me.

She also still makes a point to touch me in bed. She either cuddles or touches her feet to mine. This is the only physical contact we ever have. It's so hard for me since my main love language is physical touch... It leaves me feeling empty.

[leopoldstotch]

I know how you feel SG because my LL is physical touch too. The only thing I can tell you is it does get easier as time goes by. I don't remember but are you taking any AD? I know for me they have really helped. I be a wreck right now with how my W is just blowing me off.

[JuneReN]

Hang in there. I keep waking at three after four hours or so of sleep and I am an eight hour kind of girl.

Maybe her feet or a cuddle is all she can give right now. I am NOT a physical LL and if I touch someone like that, for me, that is huge. I can only give u my opinion.

I am also sorry you are so sad and empty right now and I glad I could make you laugh at least for a bit. ((()))

[someguy1233]

Leo- I'm not on any AD. I feel I've done pretty good for the most part with out them. My anxiety is normally pretty even... Even when she blew me off Monday night. I'm open to the idea of AD if I feel I need them.

[someguy1233]

As expected, today is proving to be a difficult day. I need a nap!

Last night during dinner W made another comment about getting applications for a part time job.

A little history for those that haven't read all my posts... W hates her current job. We both also hate how much time our son spends in daycare. A couple weeks ago we talked about her staying home with our son and just working retail part time. At the time, she said it may help her focus on our relationship as well since she won't have the stress of a job she hates.

It would be a big financial strain. We could afford it, but we'd have to change our lifestyle. I love the idea and am ok with the change. However, it seems like a crazy step that affects everything down to the cars we drive... All while being uncertain about our relationship. I just struggle with the idea of making that jump with no idea where we will land.

Last night she commented that she's thinking about quitting on the 30th. (this is when she'd get a commission check).

I'm curious to know what you all think of this.

[someguy1233]

So yesterday W and I were exchanging small talk emails on occasion. I've NEVER initiated email or text contact since 10/8 when she dropped the bomb. Almost every day she starts the communication.

Shortly before we'd both be leaving work she emailed stating she was going to a happy hour because it was a coworkers last day in the office. She knew I was exhausted from working late the night before, so she offered to see if her mom could help watch S. I agreed. Her mom wasn't available so W skipped the happy hour.

The happy hour was for the suspected OM. He should be relocating across the country soon.

When I got home W was clearly annoyed/angry/frustrated. She barely engaged me through dinner. She spoke only to S. At one point she looked at me and said, "I'm going to <girlfriend's name> house after S goes to bed." She also made a comment about how the world would fall apart if there were only men. This is her usual type of slap in the face when I'm sick/tired/etc. She thinks I can't "man up" and deal with it. Should I have offered to watch S alone despite being exhausted?

She also made a comment about apply for other full time jobs. So at that moment, I guess her working part time and staying home with S was off the table. I'd still be interested in what you all think of this... (details in my prior post)

She started to loosen up after dinner while we were playing with S. At one point she put her legs up on mine as we sat on the couch. After a moment it was as if she realized what she was doing and quickly pulled away. (yes, mind reading, but it was odd...)

S slept horribly. He must be getting sick. I laid with him until W came home at 10PM. Then I brought him to her and said I needed to get some sleep. She tried to sleep with him but he was restless. She says she got 90 minutes of total sleep all night. I explained that she could have gotten me to help after a couple hours. She sarcastically said, "noooo... you need to get your sleep." She stayed home from work today.

[leopoldstotch]

SG did you ask her to skip the happy hour? It seems like she took it upon herself to not go. Perhaps being clear with communication is what was missing. Her anger is for her to deal with. You could have offered to watch your S but she also could have asked you if you minded watching him. Again a lack of clear communication on both of your parts. I wouldnt worry about it too much. If she brings it up you can explain that you two weren't very clear and leave it at that.

Your W really seems confused as to what she really wants in regards to work. Tell her you support whatever decision she makes. She has to figure that out for herself.

Yes you are definitely mind reading with her putting her legs on you then pulling away.

Your W seems angry at times and its quite possible she may not respect you especially with her being sarcastic about you needing to get your sleep. Again there isn't anything you can do about her anger its hers to deal with. She took it upon herself not to come to you for help with with him. You said the right thing telling her she could have came to you for help. Its her problem she didn't not yours. If she brings it up again tell her she can come to you for help with him that you don't mind helping and leave it at that.

Your W reminds me of my W when it comes to getting angry and sarcastic things to say. This morning my W called just to give me grief about money I've taken out of our bank account. If you could have heard her nasty tone but I just let her vent and just said ok then she hung up on me. It [censored] when they are like that with us but what good does it do to go back at them. Someone has to change that dynamic. Be the bigger person SG

[someguy1233]

SG did you ask her to skip the happy hour? It seems like she took it upon herself to not go. Perhaps being clear with communication is what was missing. Her anger is for her to deal with. You could have offered to watch your S but she also could have asked you if you minded watching him. Again a lack of clear communication on both of your parts. I wouldnt worry about it too much. If she brings it up you can explain that you two weren't very clear and leave it at that.

I didn't ask her to skip the happy hour. She made the decision on her own. If she had asked, I would have watched S.

Your W really seems confused as to what she really wants in regards to work. Tell her you support whatever decision she makes. She has to figure that out for herself.

You're right. I'll continue to let her go down that path on her own. I don't mind whatever she chooses to do for work. A part of me wishes she would stay home so S wouldn't spend so much time in daycare... but I guess I also wish she'd choose this path because it would mean she's at least somewhat interested in our relationship.

Your W seems angry at times and its quite possible she may not respect you especially with her being sarcastic about you needing to get your sleep. Again there isn't anything you can do about her anger its hers to deal with. She took it upon herself not to come to you for help with with him. You said the right thing telling her she could have came to you for help. Its her problem she didn't not yours. If she brings it up again tell her she can come to you for help with him that you don't mind helping and leave it at that.

I think you're right. She doesn't respect me when I'm sick/tired/etc. She thinks I'm a baby at those times. She feels like she has to pickup all the slack in those instances. Over the years I've tried to explain multiple times that I'll do all that I can, and whatever doesn't get done is fine... I'll take care of stuff when I'm feeling better. She doesn't agree and feels I should just power through.

[leopoldstotch]

I didn't ask her to skip the happy hour. She made the decision on her own. If she had asked, I would have watched S.

Ok then the next time something like this comes up why don't you try being clear with her. Take the lead and offer to watch your S but monitor what she does i.e. don't let her take advantage of the situation. IMHO if she had gone to happy hour even though you were tired and need sleep the next time a happy hour comes and you need sleep she should stay home. There should be some type of balance there. Come up some type of compromise.

You're right. I'll continue to let her go down that path on her own. I don't mind whatever she chooses to do for work. A part of me wishes she would stay home so S wouldn't spend so much time in daycare... but I guess I also wish she'd choose this path because it would mean she's at least somewhat interested in our relationship.

You are mind reading here.

I think you're right. She doesn't respect me when I'm sick/tired/etc. She thinks I'm a baby at those times. She feels like she has to pickup all the slack in those instances. Over the years I've tried to explain multiple times that I'll do all that I can, and whatever doesn't get done is fine... I'll take care of stuff when I'm feeling better. She doesn't agree and feels I should just power through.

Isn't that what marriage is all about? Sickness and in health etc. When your W is sick does she power through and get things done? I have to say that your W and my W sound exactly the same when it comes to getting things done and I think it's an issue they may need to talk to someone about but I bet that your W like mine is to stubborn to talk to someone. I know when my W gets sick I pick up the slack without complaining.