Realistic Optimist Hard At Work

[Just A Guy]

So I wanted to summarize some of the things I vividly remember on here as to no forget what went down at the MC session yesterday..

1) W said she does not want to leave M, that the retreat she took did not give her clarity of a sure direction like she wanted.

2) W specifically said that in order for us to have passion again we need to have friction, in the form of anything from me opening up to her emotionally to having good debates, arguments etc...

3) MC nailed down the passionate times we have had and the friction that helped cause them. This was a point where I saw W really get into the session.

4) W cried to me saying that all she wanted when she told me about OM and how she felt was to get some form of emotion out of me. I had emotions but they didnt come out. I didnt cry, hug her, get angry or anything else... I just sat there with a blank face as I processed it all.. In fact I have only cried ONCE since this whole thing went down and that was to a friend of mine, I quickly suppressed the tears... Whats wrong with me?!?!? I couldnt even cry in front of W at my grandmothers funeral... In fact as I write this I see how emotionally void I have been all these years.. How could anyone love someone who expresses no emotions??

5) W was super emphatic about having another session, like more into getting back to our MC than I have ever seen.

6) MC spent an extra half hour of her own time explaining that W needs to see me and ALL of my emotions I am feeling, that if I cannot open up and show her my emotions this will not get better but if I can it is the key to getting back to a passionate relationship..

As I sit here writing this right now I feel so sad for some reason... Hopeful but sad, and mad at myself, W has told me so many times what she needed from me earlier in our R but I never heeded... I hope its not to late, she truly is a great woman..