Limbo Land

[jzoom]

I'm not sure how to take this, if anybody has insight it will be appreciated.

She's driving me to work and we have to stop at the bank first. On the way to the bank I bring up going Christmas shopping for the kids, it's not something she asked for, something I decided to offer b/c I'm doing my 180's. Her response is that she was going to do layaway at KMart. I don't say anything and then she says that I need to get a tree. I say that we have hers in the basement and she says half the lights don't work. I say that we also have to figure out where to put it. She says that's up to me b/c it's my house...I just let that little dig slide.

When I come out of the bank I say to her that I have an idea and that we can get rid of my dining table and get hers (there will be more room b/c her table is smaller and it's just a way for me to show her I want her around since she's talking about me needing a tree and earlier she made a comment about the dog not being happy when the baby gets older and doesn't drop food; so she is talking about the future around me). This was an issue when she first moved in b/c she wanted her table and I didn't just want to get rid of mine; turned into another sore spot for her where she felt I didn't want "her" in my house. So I make this suggesstion and she immediately says no. From the tone of her voice I ask if something is wrong and she says no so I ask if there's a reason she doesn't want to...she just glares at me for a second and goes back to driving.

I shut my mouth and just look out the windows. I don't show any annoyance or anything, I just stay calm. Finally she asks me what I want her to say when I say stuff like that. I tell her it's alright, doesn't matter. She says no, that she's asking a serious question.

I tell her that I don't know, whatever she is feeling. She says that she fought for this in the beginning, fought for what I want to do now. I say that I'm not going to let it stress me, all I can do is make suggesstions and see what happens.

She starts in on why couldn't I have been this way from the beginning, the whole time? It's just now that YOU'RE AT RISK OF LOSING ME. I say nothing, there's no good response for any of this...

I don't speak again until I tell her if she stops for gas I'll pump it (she gets sick from the smell) and then after that when we get to the store I tell her to have a nice day and she says "you too". I stayed calm, cool, and collected the whole time. No attitude, anger, resentment, or arguing.