There's not a lot of traffic here, you might try posting in Newcomers even though you've been around quite a while.
That is a very tough sitch to be sure. I can understand your concerns. You say that W didn't want to relocate the family because of the kids, but have y'all actually discussed it with the kids or is she just assuming they don't want to move? They might see it as a big adventure.
Or what about a trial period, like 3 months? IE, let her go work there for 3 months and if she absolutely loves it then you relocate the family.
