The other day I scared him. I told him that I didn't know what I was feeling anymore. And that living fear of the bottom dropping out makes me feeling like running. He could see what I was feeling, and he got on his knees and started to cry and beg me not to leave, and that he had made a bad mistake and was a fool, and that he can't lose me or our family.
Wow, the WAS becomes the LBS. It happens, but it always surprises me to see such a turn of events.
Originally Posted By: Ctflor
I feel damaged and broken inside. Not even a damn therapist seems to be helping me. Sometimes I feel I'm holding on to a thread that is very thin.
Then change therapists. If after a year you're still struggling with the same issues then your IC is worthless.
You are really blessed to have your spouse back. I know it doesn't feel that way to you, but there are a LOT of people here who would LOVE to be where you are. Not only is he back, but he's fully committed to you. You're afraid he might leave again, I totally understand. But why fear the unknown? You might as well fear that he may die in a car accident tomorrow, or contract a deadly disease. And if you leave him, then what? You hook up with someone else? Another person with their own set of problems that may dump you out of the blue one day? There are no guarantees in life. Make of it what you can. Enjoy what you have now and quit worrying about what tomorrow will bring. You'll likely never be the same as far as opening your heart up fully to him or anyone else, but that doesn't mean you can't still enjoy your marriage. You just need to choose to.
