Then I think you know what you should do. But I doubt you'll do it.
You seem to still be operating primarily on your feelings and emotions, Alk. If you'd be honest with yourself, I think you'd see that this (saying happy birthday to her) is really a payoff for YOU , not her.
Before you send anything. Go and read the boundary you gave her. I mean, really read it. Would sending her a note to acknowledge her birthday go against that boundary?
That's the whole things about boundaries. Setting them is the easy part. Sticking to them is the tough part. Unless you are ready to stick by them, there is no point in setting them. In fact, it is counter productive to do so. That is why it's probably a good idea to make sure you are ready to abide by boundaries and enforce them before setting them.
If you don't stick to it, she'll know it's all talk no action and just meant as a scare tactic. You might take the bite out of your actions of the last month by sending those 3 words.
You say it would be against your nature not to acknowledge her birthday but it's been said many times the DB was counter intuitive.
Good luck mate!
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
I just can't bring myself to accept that I'd have to do something that's SO against my nature just to get my W to think about me again...
That's why DB is counter intuitive.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
We tried everything else..the crying, pleading, begging, anger, threats, the 'talks'....it did nothing to get our spouses to notice us again.
DB is the process we have to trust. We have nothing to lose...
Wishing you well.
Busting
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
