I know how feel SG I used to have those nights too when my W was out at happy hour. I know all kinds of thoughts are probably running through your head especially after u saw her phone records talking to OM. IMHO where there is smoke there is fire. It sounds to me like your W is very conflicted right now and it's confusing u. It seems when u pull back it draws her near she told u that so do what has been working. Dont be like me and act out of anger it will set u back. I really think she is trying to figure out what it is she really wants. I'm not convinced that u are the problem. Hang in there.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out