Funny thing. Once I started feeling those feelings I had as a little girl--I didn't feel nearly so desperate or obsessed about H and OW. In fact, I even felt a bit able to let him go. Some of the fog lifted and I could see it a bit more clearly for what it was.
As a kid, I watched the men I trusted the most, disrespect women. The worst part, for me, was being smart enough to see what these men were doing and still be powerless.
I developed a belief that what I thought didn't matter. I didn't have choices, I said goodbye to my Grandpa and that was it. I only saw him once after I was 7. I felt like what I wanted and needed didn't make any difference to anyone.
When my Dad left, we had to move, get rid of my dog, my mom remarried this really unstable guy and I still didn't have any choice. I had to watch this train wreck and see how my mom, sister and kid brother hurt, but I couldn't do anything. AND, anytime I spoke up--no one seemed to listen or care.
Ironically, my D18 is saying some of the same stuff to me. The girl has this incredible brain and has watched me act so pathetic---anyway--I'm getting it.
Thanks all for helping me through the past few days,
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
