I don't know how describe my feelings at the moment. I think maybe I'm in shock?
W and I exchanged pleasant small talk emails today. Shortly before leaving work she asked if she could go to a happy hour for a bit after work. I said yes. She responded, "Do you like how I ask permission like a good wife? Lol"
Then she suggested that I feed S dinner and that she'd be home to make the two of us dinner to eat while we watched a new TV show.
Her emails were full of smiley face emoticons. I was looking forward to our evening.
Here it is 15 minutes before we normally go to bed. I haven't heard from her. She made plans and stood me up. All while she's out at a happy hour. For all I know she's out with the possible OM from work.
The lack of respect is shocking.... For her to not even send a single text message and just blow me off. Especially after the good last few days.
I guess I'm going to bed alone tonight.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
Tonight I hate having a house with the master bedroom on the front.
I hear every car and wonder if it's her. I have no idea who's giving her a ride home since the buses don't run this late.
I wish I could wear earplugs so I couldn't hear any passing cars, but the I couldn't hear if S wakes. Ugh.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
She ended up coming home around 10PM. I heard her around the house but I didn't care to get up to see her. She slept somewhere other than the bed. At one point in the night S woke up crying. I went to help him. When I came back to the bedroom W was in bed. Neither of us said a word. This may be an interesting morning...
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
I know how feel SG I used to have those nights too when my W was out at happy hour. I know all kinds of thoughts are probably running through your head especially after u saw her phone records talking to OM. IMHO where there is smoke there is fire. It sounds to me like your W is very conflicted right now and it's confusing u. It seems when u pull back it draws her near she told u that so do what has been working. Dont be like me and act out of anger it will set u back. I really think she is trying to figure out what it is she really wants. I'm not convinced that u are the problem. Hang in there.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
This morning she opened the bedroom door to see if I was awake yet. She came in and sat on the bed next to where I was laying. She said, "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have been out that late with out letting you now. I really wanted to make that dinner... the night just got away from me. I was drunk and stupid. I guess I'm paying for it because I'm hungover and S woke up at 5AM."
She touched/scratched my chest as she said this. It didn't feel like a loving touch of times past... but was contact.
I did ask her where she slept when she got home. She said she slept on the couch because she didn't want to wake me. I told her that I always wake when I hear the sounds of doors opening in the house.
I guess she was so drunk that she slept with her clothes on... I didn't bother asking who gave her a ride home.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
Stopping by to check out your sitch and it reads as though things are moving. I think the danger now is pressuring in any way. I think you are tempted to see how far you can push about R and you shouldn't..
She is coming to you and I swear it is like feeding deer. Anyway quick movement and they are gone!
Validate, listen and interact. I hope someday I will be in your position because it looks like a positive one,
W just sent me a text. She wants to know if I want to invite my family over for Thanksgiving. This surprises me... in the past when we've had problems, she'd avoid my family like the plague. She used to say she couldn't handle seeing them because it would make her feel guilty, awkward, etc.
She also invited me to go to a pre-Thanksgiving dinner with one of her volunteer groups.
Up-Down-Up-Down this roller coaster seems to change directions every 12 hours. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE <--- feel the sarcasm?
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
On a different note... I just went shopping. I got an awesome new winter coat, new underwear (something less boring since she used to comment about my plain colored boxers), and a new sweater. I haven't done any retail therapy in years. It was fun.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
On a different note... I just went shopping. I got an awesome new winter coat, new underwear (something less boring since she used to comment about my plain colored boxers), and a new sweater. I haven't done any retail therapy in years. It was fun.
Maybe you could bend over a bit and she could see the new undies peeking out of the top of jeans...lmao
Yeah, you better buckle in...did she say do you want to invite, or let's invite...how about asking her what she would prefer or saying either way is fine, I will leave it up to you...depends on how you have previously handled this type of slightly ambiguous statement? Could be taken either way...
