ellie, please please please, don't give up on me yet ok???
LOL
things have been so strained for over 3 years in our marriage (1 year affair where i knew something was going on but couldn't prove it - 2 years since then which includes 8 months since the bomb) that really i am seriously focusing in on our friendship
remember i told you that i have even tried initiating small touches (can't just JUMP into sex after this crap we have been thru) and for the longest while he would back away, he couldn't even stand my touch. now he is letting me carress him and such. i understand that things take time yes? so please don't think i am doing NOTHING in that department, i am doing little things and monitoring results
plus, there has been an extreme amount of growth in me over the last few months, and sorry to say i have focused most of my energies on that (in addition to trying to be a good wife regardless)
there are goals that i have to give him more of the hint that i am interesting in starting again, but quite frankly, i am not finished working on me yet, or at least to a point where i am comfortable enough, ya know?
