Doesn't quite fit in any category covered in here

[Acy]

Great, thanks for the 411 Sandi2, I will let her start any conversations.

She started the conversation today. I tried my best to just listen and validate.
She started out saying she wants to finalize the D papers. Said she is angry that I was dragging my feet before. I told her that it was not my intension in the beginning (a year ago), it was only the past few months. Said she feels like she is just floating around as usual, not making decisions. I just listened. She said she cant take the guilt anymore. That she had reorganized our relationship in her head over the past year, during the separation. She said she feels trapped because she feels like she is in charge of my emotions my happiness. I told her that she wasn't in control of my emotions, that I was.

After thinking a little, I knew I hadn't contacted enough and said to much as usual. I later text her that I realize she feels trapped, and if finalizing the papers would help, then I will help do it. She said OK.

I have a really hard time just validating. She is so critical of my efforts. I listen. But fall silent after some things are said because I cant think of a good way to validate. Sometimes I say "I hear that" Is that a validation? I do think of what I could say.

arghh, I guess I will just keep trying when she starts a conversation, Listen, Validate, try to be unavailable...

I just need to think about my life more and what makes me happy.