Thanks so much for the input here! I truly appreciate it all.
Just got back from my IC appt, and wanted to share what we discussed RE: The Birthday stuff.
It boiled down to this: By NOT saying ANYTHING tomorrow, I am probably doing more damage than good. My lack of any acknowledgement of her birthday will be completely transparent to her, as she knows damn well that I know it's her B-Day. By doing and saying nothing, I'm simply saying "I Don't Care anymore"... and that's not the message I want to send.
Obviously the discussion went into far more detail than that, but I won't bore you with 60 minutes worth of conversations on a single subject!
I COMPLETELY understand the advice that's being given... and a part of me thinks it's probably the "right" thing to do...
But a bigger part of me says this: Is this particular situation worth sending a message over? Is me beating myself up over not giving a general platitude such as "Happy Birthday W" really worth it? I've wished people that I can't stand a happy birthday...
But more importantly, is this something I want to use as a tactic to "get her back"?
You know... I've got to say no to that...
I'm not trying to trick her into thinking about me... because what good will that really do? If I have to artificially create a situation in which I cross her mind... well... I'm not sure that I could count that as a victory.
I guess it really boils down to this: I honestly don't think I could be "okay" at the end of the day tomorrow by not extending a simple message on my W's birthday...
And that's killing me... because again... I hear the wisdom in these posts...
Because I TOTALLY understand what Starsky and Denver are saying here... and I AGREE that it's a great way to get me to the front of her mind again.
I just can't bring myself to accept that I'd have to do something that's SO against my nature just to get my W to think about me again...
I know there will be 2x4s coming my way for this, and I'm sure I probably deserve them... but I just can't see myself being okay without doing something as little as sending a 3 word email...
But I'm still going to sleep on it... pour this over again in the morning... and try to figure out the "right" thing to do.
Who'd have thought such a "simple" thing could be so damn complicated?
