From the Ministry of Silly Walks (LoisBThread3)

[LoisB]

Thanks Guys,

Snodderly,that's really powerful stuff. I will keep reading.

Kimm, more than anything else, I think I'm feeling some rage tonight. I'm feeling the "Who the fu-- do YOU think YOU are to treat ME like this? After all I've put up with and THIS is how you repay me?"

Having said this, and let it out, I need to remind myself that there is power--sometimes--in doing nothing. Any action I take tonight will be out of desperation and rage and that won't get me or the girls anywhere.

In the thread Snodderly suggested, someone asks the veterans "What would you do differently if you had, God forbid, to do it again?"

Well, I wouldn't act on impulse so much. After reading your post, a part of me was like...well, I better let him know, TONIGHT, that I will just throw all his shi! out if he doesn't come get it. I mean, seriously? he's spending the evening with her and he wants me to sit here with the kids and take care of his stuff?

So, here's where I remind myself how sick he is. He's not in his right mind and hurting him more isn't going to make things right. I need to keep moving forward and pray on every action I take. I DO feel like I need to make some sort of stand/boundary with him, but I'm not sure what that action is yet. He does need to understand I won't tolerate his bull----. Need to think on that one.

Thanks for all the support. Mind boggling isn't it?

I'm gettin there. Having such a hard time with OW. Want so desperately to get her the he!! out of the picture. I know I can't fix it.

You know...my mom put up with affairs and so did my Grandma. I think a big part of me feels like such a loser for putting up with this behavior. He comes over on Sat and leaves to go to her. I just hit the mark--I feel it. I watched the women I loved put up with crap and they never spoke up or defended themselves. It was so unfair. I just pulled the top off a barrel of monkeys. Have to sit with this one. Little girl watching these women hurt because men were behaving badly. My grandma cried herself to sleep nightly for years. I would spend the night at her house and she would cry quietly next to me in bed. It was horrible. All because my Grandpa treated her like she didn't deserve any better. And, she acted like this was the best she deserved. I don't want to be that person. I feel like he is putting me in the position to be that person and I have no choice.

I can feel the humiliation I felt as a kid as I write this. How dare anyone treat Me like this? Don't know what to do with this?

Oh, and see how well he fakes the whole "together" thing? He sounds like a perfectly reasonable, logical individual and then he acts like nutball.

Just thinking out loud.

Heather