this is an amazing post. I am so inspired by it and so happy for you. IDK if it's the trip, or your previous post where you started touching on your deep, deep hurts (EA and hurts towards your H), but I definitely sense a change in your outlook.
If I am not mistaken, this is what Kaffe had been talking about. You have started to change your perspective or POV and started the introspective work. You are now talking about what YOU can do, where YOU may need to change and that is huge!
I do have one question - have you ever talked to your H about your FEARS? You are so open and vulnerable here about where you are. Do you think it would be helpful to share that with him what you are currently feeling so he can understand you better?
I know that being vulnerable (with my H or anyone else) is a huge problem for me. Perhaps you have some struggles there too? Something I am working on is recognizing that it's ok to be fearful, to be vulnerable and to show my less-than-perfect side. It's part of the self-forgiveness process.
CV, again - I am very happy you are at this point and I wish you the best. Don't let your fear hold you back. We understand, because WAW or LBS, most of us are at some level fearful of something.
Good luck!
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
