Something that helped me early on was setting small goals for change. One of yours could be "He will stick around for 2 minutes to discuss The Good Wife." "He will stay at the dinner table until I finish." This will help you feel like you've had some success and will help you keep going.
Or better still, make goals for YOU. Something like: "I will go one full day w/o criticizing him for anything" or "I will compliment him for one thing that he ‘got right’ everyday"
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One thing I'm trying to do is take inventory of the things I can live with and the things I can't live with. That might help you too as you go down the path. For me, I can tolerate most things, but not the punishing, not the emotional stonewalling. Think about this as you set your goals.
This is very wise advice. Instead of trying to remake everything about him, (unlikey to happen) decide on your 2 or 3 MUST HAVES.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
