Yes, Starsky, I do... But clearly she's not currently seeing it that way.
Then if you REALLY feel that way, maybe you should do everything you can to try to get her back (short of violating your own boundaries or integrity) . . . even if it "feels mean" ???
Understand what I'm saying? Picture your wife in the future, your marriage now fully restored, saying to you "Why didn't you send me any sort of message on my birthday? Man, did I ever think you were a D*CK!!" and you say "Well, I didn't want a divorce and hadn't given up on us, and so EVERYTHING that I did, I did with the thought of 'What gives me the BEST chance of restoring my marriage'? "
Make sense? It's kind of an "end justifies the means" thing.