Dealing with the reality of separation

[PeteWyo]

Wait, are you talking about your W or mine? That is soooooo what my W is like too. And yes you are right, at some point you may need to put something out to her to let her know the door is still open. But at the same time you need her to know it's not a revolving door, nor is it a door you are just holding open for her in case OM falls through. Honestly I feel like I need to do the same with my W, but I feel like the timing isn't right yet. I've put out a few feelers to try and test her temperature but it keeps coming back as "ice princess". She's going to have to thaw a bit before we can have that convo I think.

I know right? We have had this conversation before on my previous thread on how alike our wives are.

Well, that is kind of where my thinking was. I have really gone dark on my W, or "dim" as Denver put it. No contact at all and working on me. I can see how she would think that I had moved on and wasn't interested in a R with her. We had some communication problems in our M that caused us to end up where we are so going dark seemed counterintuitive to me but so is everything else on this board. But there has to be a point where I tell her or let her know in some way that I would still take her back if she decides that is what she wants. So my thinking was that this would be a good opportunity to tell her that... or I can just stay dark and see if she will ever reach out to me. But that is the catch 22, right? She will never reach out to me again if she thinks that I am avoiding her because I don't want anything to do with her because my heart has moved on. I mean if the SIL really is on her side as you say, then she will be telling the W that I miss her anyway. I dunno. I guess I see both sides of the rationale.