Still, on the relationship side of things, one should still see progress if one is to go on with what they are doing.
Yes, that is true. And if there is no progress over several weeks, then we have to change things up. But on the other hand, you'll hear some of the old-timers talk about how the WAS has got to miss the LBS and/ or think they may lose them before they are willing to make a big move towards R. Unfortunately that usually doesn't happen until the LBS well and truly drops the rope. In dropping the rope the LBS is really releasing the WAS completely and saying "I'm no longer working on us, I'm working on me". Some people get there in weeks, others in months, others longer. And I think some LBS's never get there. And that's fine, there's no right or wrong to it. It's a personal journey.
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When I decide to pull back to help me detach and give wife time to miss me. How do I assess the progress on this?
You'd need to see her reaching out to you whether it's calling, emailing, texting or a mix of those. Pursuit.
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When I see W seemingly coming around and spending more time at home with me and D8, and inviting me out. Is this really progress in my sitch? Or should this better me that I'm becoming not care about that?
Yeah, that's definitely progress. But you have to celebrate those baby steps internally and continue DB'ing. Of course you care about it, but try not to show you care. It's the whole distance/ pursuit thing. You distance, she pursues. If you react too strongly to her pursuit then she goes back to distancing.
