Sweet Briar, T^2 and Stander have given US good advice. I think the hard part is, we need support and need to share this, but we really have to re consider just WHO we share this with. This is why this site has been a safety net for me. Though it seems MLC is running rampid, it really is a very specific, off- the- grid kind of situation. Quite frankly I think it's the test of a lifetime.
Things happen for a reason. My skin has gotten alot tougher through this as yours will too.
I too was told I was too nice by several people. I still am told this.
I too have been told if I ever took him back I would be in big trouble with my friend. I was told he made his bed and he should lay in it, and not give in an inch.
It's true these people are just trying to protect us and care for us! I can't tell you how many times I've done the same thing with friends that were being mistreated.
Any time I tell friends of how XH seems to be changing his actions or ways around me, I get nailed about how it's all a farse and to NEVER FORGET or FORGIVE WHAT HE'S DONE IN THE PAST BECAUSE HE WILL DO IT AGAIN. Im told it's all a mind game, and there's always a motive.
So it's gotten to the point I really don't say as much to them, and if I do I accept they have their opinion, and I have mine. I also acknowledge that I was with this man for 21 years and know him very well and that my biggest supporters really have no clue as to what life really was like with XH and myself during non crisis times.
I've decided at this point and time that sharing too much with others actually keeps me more confused, and more torn up emotionally. I've decided that I must decide how to deal with my XH and whatever goes on between us on my own. I have better tools and education on what's really going on. The detatchment has allowed me to really look back and really see just WTH XH was trying to tell me in the beginning of all this. You'll get that too. It's just takes time and persistence on our part to educate and learn about MLC, all the while working on ourselves too. I was just too traumatized after bomb drop to understand what was really going on with XH. I had never seen such insanity in my entire life.
On another note, how are you feeling? How's the baby doing? And the new job? Despite what's going on, you're really holding it together VERY WELL. I swear if I was PG when XH pulled this, I shudder to think what I would've done!
