Thanks Sunnyburst. Yes it seems from the sitchs I have read the MLC spouse is the one who gives less in the R. And the one who is more dysfunctional. Thanks for posting. Good to know we are all in this together
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I have a pity party most nights these days lol. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to run through my tunnel screaming right now. Lol
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
Thanks again soul searching. I am having a really bad time with this right now. Unfortunately I am not the type of person who can just ignore her emotions. J used to hear that from H all the time. He always told me to stop being so emotional as if that is a bad thing.
I wish there was a magic button but there isn't. This hard work. Right now I can't see the forest for the trees let alone a light at the end of the tunnel.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Thinking of you Wishing. I know that feeling... The "how much more can I take?" feeling. You are doing great!
If the world were fair, Cartier would be sending you the biggest, clearest and shiniest diamond of 'em all. I am sending you the virtual Cartier right now--and, while I'm at it, I'll put on my vintage Cartier filigree diamond necklace from the turn of the century!! It was owned by one of Queen Victoria's daughters. Looks a little outta place with my yoga pants and t-shirt, but I think I need to wear it today.
God musta known what He was doing when He put us together with such damaged guys--not for the faint of heart.
Much Love, Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Awwwwwwwww thanks Heather. You are so sweet. God has blessed me for sure during this whole ordeal. Good friends, great family, terrific kids and valuable resources.
Did a bit of soul searching last night. Feeling a bit better today. Realizing this is all about him not me and he is searching for something that makes him feel better and he is not concerned with how anyone else feels. Not me, the kids or even OW. Once she stops making him feel special she is gone too!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Last week, H was "missing us fiercely" and wanted to come over everyday. When I pressed him on whether OW was still in the picture, he finally admitted she was and I put the cabash on his "visits" and "help." H was angry and blaming and mean.
He went, within 72 hours, of reminding me I was "never Plan B" to considering OW meeting our D18 and admitting to D18 and I that he spends a lot of time at her apt. It hurt. Part of me was hoping maybe she was outta the picture. She's not.
So, back to NC. Haven't heard anything. Trying to remember his crapola isn't about me. He started this train wreck and he will have to see it out. I guess it's a good sign or, at least, nice to know that the real H is still in there and actually does regret what he's done to us. I'm glad I received a sincere apology. Too bad he's chosen to continue the hurtful behavior--at least today.
Hang in there--I am.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
IMHO, I would. When he wanted to go out as a family, I would have said, sorry but I don't think it's appropriate to go out with me when you are engaged to another woman. "wishing, hoping don't play that!"
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
No, I did not confront him. He would probably just lie about it anyway. I am keeping that little nugget to myself. It might not be an engagement ring, but it might be. I will just it to my lawyer and it will all come out in the wash.
With H I need the element of surprise. I love that deer in the headlights look he gets when I catch him in his lies. If I come out attacking he just tries to make me look crazy. If I nail him with facts when he least expects it he squirms. It gives me a little bit of satisfaction anyhow.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
And we're off again. H is threatening me telling me if I don't call off my lawyer and agree to H's terms he will take me to the cleaners and make me pay my half of the marital debt, even though he does not want to have to do that. And he said if I don't agree to give him the kids 50/50 he will tell the mediator to forget it and order a guardian ad litem. I told him it sounded like he was threatening me but he of course said that was not the case he was discussing the facts. I think H is starting to panic. Thoughts anyone?
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
