Can't believe I didn't pick that up. Guess I'm in a daze from all the 2x4s...
Hahaha! Anyone who has spent enough time posting here has a few lumps to show for it
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The catch, don't know if it's major or minor, is that planning the deal, then asking the kids if W could go, was my idea. Now telling her the above would be a reversal.
That's OK, the advice is to help you understand what your future approach should be. If it doesn't work for this particular instance then no problem, proceed as planned. But perhaps next time something like this comes up (as it will shortly with Thanksgiving and Christmas approaching) then you can adjust your approach.
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I told my pastor recently I feel like I need someone with me all the time to punch me in the face when I'm getting ready to say something stupid.
That would be handy, wouldn't it? I think we'd all like that!
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many times I would say I am trying to influence the sitch, and told I am trying to manip/control. I wish to God I could control. I want our life back. If I didn't want to influence my W I wouldn't be here.
I agree with Crimson, it's a fine line indeed between the two. I guess what I would tell you is that you should only try to "influence" your W in one way- by changing yourself. That's the heart of DB'ing. Do 180's on your own faults, work on your PMA, GAL, make yourself more attractive, fun, happy, etc. A spouse only a fool would leave. Do not try to influence her directly, and do not try to influence her R with your kids.
