I'm better today but I learned how much it's the rejection I hate. I also learned it's the fantasy of our forever after I am fighting for, the idea in my head that it was until death do we part, love everlasting.
i would be grabbing an axe myself. my h just doesn't "talk" about "it" - ow, you name it. maybe i need to be thankful for that. i do not know how you can bear your h's "honesty" - or whatever you would choose to call it. i would be right over some edge- i feel awful for you- i wish i could fix it- if you are in a satellite community of chicago-
is there "civilization" all around you? or woods? if there is life- you have to force yourself (it's hard- but doable- i do sometimes and it turns out okay) to go to the library and take a little course of word, or excel- or someting. (whatever they have to offer) - mine shows movies sometims- it's SOMETHING out OF the house and different. - look on line for a walking club- person- or maybe put an ad in local little rag asking for walking mate. (or foodstore bulletin board) - i found a girl i used to know in highschool whose around and does quillign- she came and gave me a lesson - everyone out there is looking for someone to do their "thing" with - or teach or find appreciation. GOTTA TRY TO DO something- he's taking advantage (maybe) ofyour being so isolated- you're too good - FIND some people
okay- done nagging- it's awful and you have the strength of a bull to endure it all - (((( )))) don't commit a crime okay - you don't want to rot in jail just to clobber him- (this bit is true) xxoo
