Just my opinion, but there is barely a razor blade's width separating "influence" and "control". Both, for the most part, have the end result of imposing YOUR will on another person. I've been reading your threads and you are a lot like me when I arrived here. Best thing for you to internalize right now is that you absolutely, positively are NOT driving the train that is your wife right now.
The best things that you are doing right now are focusing on yourself and your kids. I know I said this in my first post to you, but really, really spend this time taking a look at what your W complained about on her way out the door. I can't stress that part enough. It suxx, but embracing it is surprisingly liberating. When you can work on THOSE things and live those changes (your 180s) for you and get out of your wife's head - you will gradually arrive at a peaceful place. And, perhaps, your wife will believe you and your changes.
In terms of how you react and need someone to "punch you in the face" - here is what I did. Assume that EVERY first reaction that you have to something and the actions you want to follow it are wrong, wrong, wrong......at this stage, they probably are. Take time to think about your actions and reactions before they really come alive.
